On author blurbs

We want it to be non-perfunctory. For example, here's a think-piece from the Berlin Pfennig Saver in 1886:

"Friedrich Nietzsche is the author of several books of philosophy. And God is dead."

Or like this one from Tiger Beat for Men in 1971 (perfect for a senior)

"Norman Mailer is a magnificent writer and one brilliant son of a bitch. He's outlived, outloved and outbrawled every last one of you miserable pansy bastards who sit around reading magazines."

or it could even have some kind of a foreshadowing element, although hopefully not as pessimistic as this one

"Sylvia Plath is a poet living in London. She Recently purchased a gas oven."- 1963, Opaque and Oblique.

or perhaps more complex like this one from the Paris Review:

"William Burroughs elaborates cardboard assumptions near the horizon. He laments the dachshunds' cruel design."

And finally, here's a great one that really uses the writer's last words to further assert his essential self. This one's from Disembowelment Weekly:

"Stephen King is a horror author. That's horror, not whore."